Listen
Change has many different faces and I like to think that change is always a good thing. But always is too permanent. Things and people in my world are changing ever so subtly and I am aware of the changes. I went to an "event" and let's just say, it made me realize how much I have changed over the years. Yes, I am only 23 years old...but I have learned so much from observing and listening to others and my heart.
Listening is truly a gift.
If I listen long enough, I can hear the bitterness, the anger, the growing pain of people who don't feel like anyone is listening to them. But, someone is always listening.
Sometimes, I listen and I hurt. I listen and I become vulnerable. I listen and I believe in you. I listen and I trust. I can't help but sometimes turn my back on some requests because I know that if I follow that road, I will be destroyed. Destroyed?! Yes, destroyed by the passion, the power, the commitment to do the "right" thing for you when you do not even care about yourself. How can I care more about you than you do? Why do I care more about you than you do?
Do you hear me sometimes? The beating of my heart, the tears in my eyes, the worry in my voice or do you only hear yourself? When do I get to tell you how important you are to me and you believe me and I believe you. I wish I could say that I was sorry for listening and loving. But, I'm not and I will never be sorry.
Listening is a gift.
Yes, the book of James in the Bible was right about the tongue. It is powerful. Oh, how the words that we speak can build a person up or tear a person down. And I hope and I pray that I am not the one tearing a person down. But, I've been torn down a time or two and it's fine. Every time I listen, I take a leap of faith that this time...the words have feeling. This time...there is no manipulation, deceit, dishonesty, lies, treachery. This time...is different. This time...it's personal. This time...it's real.
And I pray to God, it's real. What's real? I'm real. You're real. This isn't some big game and the jokes on me. There isn't some fake wizard at the end of the rainbow. There isn't a "guess what? you're out" at the end of the conversation because that would be tragic. I'm not a comedian and I'm not laughing. I'm serious and I hope that you know that. I've always been serious because I care. But, caring cost something and the price is not always right. Sometimes, the price has been a bit high and I paid for it and I hurt for it. But, I'd do it all again to have the opportunity just to listen and to love.
Listening is truly a gift.
If I listen long enough, I can hear the bitterness, the anger, the growing pain of people who don't feel like anyone is listening to them. But, someone is always listening.
Sometimes, I listen and I hurt. I listen and I become vulnerable. I listen and I believe in you. I listen and I trust. I can't help but sometimes turn my back on some requests because I know that if I follow that road, I will be destroyed. Destroyed?! Yes, destroyed by the passion, the power, the commitment to do the "right" thing for you when you do not even care about yourself. How can I care more about you than you do? Why do I care more about you than you do?
Do you hear me sometimes? The beating of my heart, the tears in my eyes, the worry in my voice or do you only hear yourself? When do I get to tell you how important you are to me and you believe me and I believe you. I wish I could say that I was sorry for listening and loving. But, I'm not and I will never be sorry.
Listening is a gift.
Yes, the book of James in the Bible was right about the tongue. It is powerful. Oh, how the words that we speak can build a person up or tear a person down. And I hope and I pray that I am not the one tearing a person down. But, I've been torn down a time or two and it's fine. Every time I listen, I take a leap of faith that this time...the words have feeling. This time...there is no manipulation, deceit, dishonesty, lies, treachery. This time...is different. This time...it's personal. This time...it's real.
And I pray to God, it's real. What's real? I'm real. You're real. This isn't some big game and the jokes on me. There isn't some fake wizard at the end of the rainbow. There isn't a "guess what? you're out" at the end of the conversation because that would be tragic. I'm not a comedian and I'm not laughing. I'm serious and I hope that you know that. I've always been serious because I care. But, caring cost something and the price is not always right. Sometimes, the price has been a bit high and I paid for it and I hurt for it. But, I'd do it all again to have the opportunity just to listen and to love.
posted by medicinegirl | 11:26 PM
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