Love the life you've chosen to live.
So, as a friend mentioned, I haven't updated my blog in months-- tis true. So, finally, I'll revive this external commentary on the internal workings of my mind. There's so much that I could say. Hmm. You know how people say you never know what you have until you've lost it. I really hope that everything that I have around me, inside of me, and connected to me --- I truly value, without reserve. And if I don't know how valuable someone is, hopefully I'll discover.
It's so easy to get caught up in life, especially in medical school. Medical school gives you so many opportunities to get lost in the details, the mechanisms, the organ systems, the pathology, mnemonics, preparation for boards, etc. Everything is occurring at such a quick pace. It's already October, 2.5 months and the year is over. It's amazing.
But I don't want to lose pieces of myself in the process because undeniably medical school does change you. I noticed the changes more so this year than last year. When you're studying normal systems, you learn it and move on. But when faced with diseases where the best treatment is questionable and you know that's there nothing you can do-- it's frustrating and emotionally exhausting. This year, I had many conflicting thought processes about my role as an aspiring physician in fighting the disease process. Of course, you want to think that you can "heal" the patients. I had this misconception going into medical school. I learned that the literal meaning of "doctor" was actually teacher. This changed my perspective. I realized that medicine was an imperfect art -- always in need of practicing.
I came into contact with a patient with pancreatic cancer and she had 3 months to live. She said "I've seen a lot of things, I've been a lot of places, I lived a good life." I sat in the chair looking her and realizing that medicine had nothing to offer her at this stage in her disease. I'd like to think that we had all the answers, but we don't. It's hard to look in someone's face knowing that nothing you say or do can help the situation at that point. So, I had to accept that hard truth.
Well, that's enough for the moment. I guess that I should be more dedicated to this blog...at least once a month..hahahhaha..we'll see...
Randomness
Color of the Day: Red
Word of the Day: Didactic
Song of the Day: This is Your Life [Switchfoot]
Food of the Day: Broccoli
Quote[s] of the Day:
Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself.
--- John MacNaughton
We don't see thing as they are, we see them as we are.
--- Anais Nin
Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, 'This is the real me,' and when you have found that attitude, follow it.
--- William James
It's so easy to get caught up in life, especially in medical school. Medical school gives you so many opportunities to get lost in the details, the mechanisms, the organ systems, the pathology, mnemonics, preparation for boards, etc. Everything is occurring at such a quick pace. It's already October, 2.5 months and the year is over. It's amazing.
But I don't want to lose pieces of myself in the process because undeniably medical school does change you. I noticed the changes more so this year than last year. When you're studying normal systems, you learn it and move on. But when faced with diseases where the best treatment is questionable and you know that's there nothing you can do-- it's frustrating and emotionally exhausting. This year, I had many conflicting thought processes about my role as an aspiring physician in fighting the disease process. Of course, you want to think that you can "heal" the patients. I had this misconception going into medical school. I learned that the literal meaning of "doctor" was actually teacher. This changed my perspective. I realized that medicine was an imperfect art -- always in need of practicing.
I came into contact with a patient with pancreatic cancer and she had 3 months to live. She said "I've seen a lot of things, I've been a lot of places, I lived a good life." I sat in the chair looking her and realizing that medicine had nothing to offer her at this stage in her disease. I'd like to think that we had all the answers, but we don't. It's hard to look in someone's face knowing that nothing you say or do can help the situation at that point. So, I had to accept that hard truth.
Well, that's enough for the moment. I guess that I should be more dedicated to this blog...at least once a month..hahahhaha..we'll see...
Randomness
Color of the Day: Red
Word of the Day: Didactic
Song of the Day: This is Your Life [Switchfoot]
Food of the Day: Broccoli
Quote[s] of the Day:
Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself.
--- John MacNaughton
We don't see thing as they are, we see them as we are.
--- Anais Nin
Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, 'This is the real me,' and when you have found that attitude, follow it.
--- William James
posted by medicinegirl | 9:17 PM
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